Life's Little Vexes
By WB (The Savvy Shopper)

There are certain things that happen routinely that shouldn't, and they're life's little vexes. For example: How come every time you get used to certain store arrangements, and know exactly where the product is you want to buy, they decide to reset the entire store or section and make you look all over the place for it?

How come that idiot in front of me won't pull up onto the traffic sensor block and set off the left turn signal? We've been here for two cycles already.
How come someone who obviously can't count or read gets into an "express" lane clearly marked 10 items or less, usually has about 40 items in their basket?
Why is that cell phone going off in church? Must be a direct line to God.
How come, you always "gotta go", when you can't?
Why does traffic always move slower on the "freeway" then on some surface streets?
Are there any "Hollywood Mufflers" in Hollywood? Is there such a thing as "Texas Toast" in Texas? No, it's called a tortilla gordo.
Where in the world is East Covina? It is East of West Covina.
How come prices always seem to go up, but rarely come down?
Why do they say the assembly directions can be followed by an eight-year-old and are always written in language only an engineer could understand? How many eight-year-old engineers do you know?
How come the other line always moves faster?
How come 90-year-old women who can't hear always calls in first on talk shows?
How come when a caller on a talk show finally gets to a good point, you have to break for a commercial?
How come there is always a dirt and sand storm right after the pool guy leaves?
How come restaurants say they have complete trust in their valet car parkers but they also have large signs that say they are not responsible for thief from vehicles?
How come many TV News promotions during sweeps are better than the news story?
How come when you have just a few minutes to change the oil in your car, the "jiffy" part of "Jiffy Lube" always is anything but "jiffy?"
How come the operators of drive-up fast food intercom speakers are always persons just learning English? How many ways can you say "cheese burger & Fries?"
I'm sure there are many other questions that don't really have answers, what are your favorites, e-mail them to Judd@TroubleshooterJudd.com. Otherwise, stay alert and shop savvy. How come when there is a Hollywood cattle call for child actors half of the people who come are over 25?

Filed April 2003.